“So, are you, basically…all better?”
I sat quietly on the sofa, trying to figure out how to respond to the person who asked me. Have I been improving? Yes. Am I fully healed? No.
But I struggled, more so because, whether or not it’s intended, the question invites closure. Something we, as humans, really, really like. Don’t we?
To finally get that degree under our belt. Or discover a positive on the 11th pregnancy test. We want there to be an “end” to the waiting, a destination to arrive at. Because then, things will be better.
Yet…healing, in the context I’ve been learning to embrace it, has taught me there’s so much more depth in a journey rather than a destination.
Because for me, waiting to arrive at “fully well again” was a hope that faded fast. I found myself sitting in a place of acceptance, wanting to just be okay with a reality that sick was a new norm.
It gave me an odd sort of comfort. That I didn’t have to “fight”, and I could just “be”.
But then a few months ago a new treatment crossed my path that gave birth to a new experience in the realm of healing. It gave me a reason for letting go of the concept of “fighting” and empowered me to redefine what it looked like to actively heal.
And it gave me hope.
It’s been awhile since I’ve given any sort of update since starting the Dynamic Neural Retraining System, so I thought I’d do that today. Because while I’m still healing, I believe in celebrating the wins. Big or small. Of which I’ve experienced both!
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My 5-month Update
In my last update, I listed off some of the improvements I’d seen in energy, pain and inflammation levels, fatigue, and dizziness. All of those improvements have remained or improved, but my walking distance has increased substantially!
As my legs have continued to grow stronger, I’ve enjoyed long (and often faster-paced) walks with my hubs. Which has been such a great thing! I walk to coffee shops or the farmer’s market without thinking twice. And several months ago that wouldn’t have been possible.
Summer has been another test for us to observe how well I’ve actually improved. And while I’m still improving in some areas, my overall experience in the summer heat is definitely better!
The temps here in southern Oregon have been hot at the peaks of each day, with a bit cooler evenings and mornings. But my body has been handling it so much better than it did the last few years.
Where before I would have felt like I’d pass out at any moment these last few summers, this year I am tolerating it much better. Instead of staying indoors, I can be out in the heat most days, soak up the sun’s rays, and even walk in moderate temperatures without fearing I’ll faint.
But I think my biggest accomplishment is that after 3 years of not driving I was able to get behind the wheel again! And starting back up with a manual again, at that, I’ll have you know. (The hubs said I picked it up quickly so I’m gonna throw in a not-so-humble-brag right here.) 😉
With driving comes another beautiful thing: more independence. And anyone who’s lived housebound for any stretch of time understands what a glorious gift that is!
Some of my other notable improvements include being able to travel several hour distances and sit in restaurants without earplugs (heck, just be around people without earplugs). It’s been so helpful to feel more comfortable in my skin with so many less symptoms grabbing my attention.
I feel happier, lighter, and more filled with hope than I had been in long, long time. Which is notable to me because I swear hope had become a foreign feeling to me. It felt like I couldn’t grab onto it fully no matter how hard I tried. (So I just might need to write a post about that and the connection I see with having an impaired limbic system…)
As grateful as I am for this healing, none of it came to me easily.
It didn’t just “happen” one day or sneak up on me. And I don’t believe it’s a miracle.
Because I’ve been been working hard, healing my lil’ ass off.
From taking care of my body with food, self-care, rest, and supplements over the last few years to the commitment I’ve made to retraining the neural pathways in my brain every day, I’ve worked for this. And the efforts are paying off.
Healing is like that for any of us, isn’t it? It takes time, effort, commitment. Belief it can happen and the support to help us pursue it.
True healing isn’t just something that appears all of a sudden. It’s not a one-and-done pursuit. For me, I believe my physical healing will reach a point where it’s no longer my main focus.
But I’ll forever be learning to pursue healing of body, mind and soul.
So whether you’re reading this because you were curious about DNRS or you wanted to fuel your own fire of hope that improvement is possible, or maybe you don’t even know why you clicked on this post in the first place…
Whatever the reason you’re here, I just want to leave you with this:
I’m proud of you. I acknowledge your efforts and how hard you’re working on healing. And I believe things can get better. <3