The Light That Breaks Through

The Light that Breaks Through

“In the broken places, the light shines through.” – Leonard Cohen

With my bare feet planted in the freshly cut grass, I squinted my eyes behind my sunglasses as I looked up at the sky.

The bright, mid-morning sun cast a warm glow behind the artistic display of scattered white fluff. The blades of green glistened at my feet.

“This is beauty,” I thought to myself as I breathed in the fresh air and simple beauty surrounding me in my little yard. Light broke through the patches of blue amidst the open weave of a white blanket of clouds overhead. I couldn’t help but smile.

It felt peaceful. Calm.

Those broken places, the open space where the blue lets the sun rays through? As I studied the sky I determined it somehow ushers in more beauty than if the sky were free of white.

It makes what could be viewed as a fragmented sky, something to be admired.

The brokenness that comes with heartache, loneliness, grief and pain feels anything but beautiful. It is heavy, stinging with each vinegary drop on our inner wounds. Bringing with it the sharp pangs of not being okay.

And the pain? It’s not radiant. The loneliness is not light-filled. Our sense of loss can feel like storm clouds that never quite go away.

And so we sit, waiting for the sun to make it’s appearance.

We hold on, waiting for life to slow down, for healing to come, or relationships to be restored after we’ve done all we can. We grip onto hope that a new chapter is coming.

I don’t know how slowly the sky changes in our storms, but it sure can feel like a snail on crutches at times. Asking, hoping, praying for God to answer what feels to us like a pure request.

For healing, fertility, a better job, a spouse, a community of support.

And the clouds linger. The rain comes. The lightning shatters.

It can all feel dark.

"In the broken places, the light shines through." - Leonard Cohen | Living Grace Blog

I’m beginning to accept that there is light that I may not be able to see here…with my current view clouded by the mist and engulfed in the continuous storm of illness.

Yet somehow my husband sees it. Friends see it. Light somehow shining it’s way out of this storm.

And while I can’t always see it in my own story, I see it in so many others. I see it and it inspires me to keep moving forward. To continue to give and love and spread kindness in the midst of the fight.

The light I see in you, my friends, is the light that comes from perseverance. The light of compassion. The light of giving in a season when you may have little to give – be it of time, resources, or friendship.

You may be like me, feeling engulfed by your own unique storm of loneliness, disappointment, loss, heartbreak, or illness. And here we sit, or lie or stand doing a rain dance or anything else that may break open that dark sky above.

I’m here to tell you that the rest of us can see that light. It may be flickering. It may not be that ultimate answer we’re waiting for, but I see YOUR LIGHT.

Every time you share kindness, love, friendship, empathy, or warmth with another, it’s casting out light and hope to those taking in the view. The view of you and your life story. An extension of love from a compassionate God to the rest of us around.

This light is from the story of you not giving up, of doing the best that you can with what you have.

So I’ll continue pleading for all of our dark skies to burst open like the sky I embraced from my front lawn. But for now, let’s keep pressing on dear ones.

I’m convinced your courage is radiant.

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14 comments

  1. Jamie says:

    Beautiful. You have me in tears. You are a beautiful, kind, and caring person. I, like your husband and others, see such radiance in you. xoxo

    • Kami says:

      Thank you so much, Jamie. Your words and your spirit are so kind. Thankful for you and your friendship! Sending big hugs to you! xo

  2. I always look forward to reading your posts Kami! You have such a unique and eloquent way with words. I can very much relate to this post-thank you for this and for reminding us of those little glimpses of light shining through.

    • Kami says:

      I’m so glad it could resonate with you, Stephanie. You undoubtedly shine a light of your own and I see it in your posts and your warm spirit. Sending you hugs, dear friend! <3

  3. MH says:

    Kami, your light shines through in every piece you post. I am in a very dark place these days, not sure how much longer my body will hold out, exhausted from dealing with the bureaucracy of insurance companies, social service agencies, and medical facilities that seem filled with incompetence and downright cruelty. And yet through it all, I have been blessed daily by amazing light from my online communities and even perfect strangers who go out of their way to let me know I can hold on to hope for another day. Your emails are a bright spot in my week, and even so, I am glad you took time for yourself last week. Be gentle with yourself, and thank you, as always, for your honest and inspiring words.

    • Kami says:

      Thank you for your kind words, MH. I’m so sorry for all the heaviness you’ve been walking through lately. I am familiar with the feeling of not knowing how much longer your body can hold on. They are fighting so hard for us. It is such a gift to have our supportive communities to help us keep moving forward. I’m so thankful you have one to encourage you – it helps us know we aren’t alone in this fight. Sending you a gentle hug today. <3

  4. Shawn says:

    Oh precious one… It can be so hard to see light – which I believe is one of the many reasons God gives us each other. Somehow, we are able to find courage and hope in the struggles of others who are going through similar difficult times – maybe it’s just easier to see the light in the windows of other houses.

    I love you dearly.

    • Kami says:

      Shawn, you said it so well. “Maybe it’s just easier to see the light in the windows of other houses.” So thankful for you and the many others whose houses shed light around me. God’s gift of courage and community in the midst of this fight. Love you and your warrior soul so much.

  5. Hi Robson de’prose here what lovely words of wisdom i also in my long battle with illness could never see the light but in the last six months my light has become so bright it’s blinding and all my family and close friends see it they say the light shines out of my eyes and the see it in my smile and i see it in my face in the mirror everyday it’s a wonderful feeling to feel happiness and peace with ones self at last and I’m ever letting go of my happiness as its took half of my life to find it and nothing fases me anymore any illness that may accure in my life from now on wont stop me from living in peace and happiness and with my constant prayer and healing from my spirit quides and God and Jesus i fear nothing and know one I’m sending you my healing thoughts and prayers today and everyday and lighting a candle in church everyday for you asking that you be freed from your illness and that your light shines brightly so that you and your loved ones can see it never give up my dear friend have faith and ask for gods love and healing prayers and your find out like i did that he does listen and does heal and gives you the strength and courage to face your demons and stare them all in the face and say to them no you won’t beat me I’m a stronger person God bless you and heal you and keep you and your loved ones safe and may your life from now on be one of peace and happiness as mine is now Robsonxxx

  6. Genevieve says:

    Wow. This is BEAUTIFULLY written. I am definitely going to be coming back to read more. Its rare to find blogs that are actually well written. Finding the light is SO important when you are sick. Hang in there, I just found out my Lyme is in remission 2 months ago. It IS possible <3
    http://www.shipwithnosails.com

    • Kami says:

      Thank you so much, Genevieve. And I am so happy to hear you have reached remission! Hoping for that someday for me too. Fighting for it always. Sending you a gentle hug today! <3

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