oh, perspective.

perspective. oh, such a powerful thing.
I’ve seen the effects of both the positive and negative postures of this truth unfold in my own life.

perspective is what gets me through each day.
it opens opportunities to share of God’s faithfulness in what can feel like darkness.
it gives me the strength to see that I’m blessed
by even the smallest health improvements.
it gives me hope that this hard season won’t last forever,
that God is redeeming and will continue to redeem this time.

perspective also causes me unnecessary pain.
it makes me think I’m alone
and causes me to fear.
it steals away my joy.
tears down, breaks, and destroys.

I know all the above to be true. I’ve experienced each one firsthand.
Yet I still must choose daily.
and in that same breath that I say I must choose daily
I don’t feel it means I’m not to share honestly and openly about where I’m at.
I can have a positive perspective and still be raw with the truth of where my heart is.

I can be thankful, knowing that things could be worse.
I can highlight the ways that God has provided for us
when finances or healthcare seemed impossible.
I can share how I’ve seen God open up conversations and friendships
through choosing to be vulnerable and open.

still, perspective doesn’t take away the pain or the struggle of hard seasons
and for that reason I continue to answer “how are you doing” honestly.
I still battle the unknowns of every day…
“how much pain will I have today?”
“will I be able to drive myself? or will my vision be too poor?”
“will I be able to make and keep plans or will I be too dizzy or weak to go about my day?”

I’m still unable to work and while that’s frustrating for both Trevin and I, this is an area God’s been challenging my perspective on over the past few weeks.

See, one of the beautiful things that’s come out of this season
is that I’ve been able to pursue a dream:
opening my very own Etsy store.
I’ve been making handmade cards and gifts for years and for the first time ever,
I’m selling my own creations!! Ahhhh!
It gives me an outlet for creativity,
but also provides a small means of income doing something I love.
I’m able to work around the highs and lows of my health, which is such a blessing.

would I have embarked on this new adventure
had I not had these trying circumstances?
maybe, but I doubt it would have happened this soon.
It’s not what I thought I would be doing at the moment,
but I’m grateful for this season of pursuing a dream if only for a time.

having a positive perspective isn’t about putting on rose colored glasses,
sugar coating the truth,
or ignoring the hard things in life.
it’s so much more about seeing the greater picture.
declaring that the hard isn’t the only presence,
but rather that the hard is somehow a part of creating and refining
the beautiful in our lives.
when I can stop and recognize this, it feels like a gift of fresh air.
a reminder that I’m truly not alone,
that the story isn’t over.
so thankful for that truth.

a song for the hard seasons: Worn by Tenth Avenue North

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